T3h 4rum story
by Benstudios
Summary: A story me and my friends made on a forum, with each of us adding little bits. Rated for swearing. The two Genres were selected because it has some adventure. This story makes no sense. master chief cameo.


**Forum Story**

Once upon a time their lived a guy called Ben Edney and he was a P.o.H.M (Patriot of Her majesty). And suddenly he found himself being chased by a giant ball of miscellaneous items being pushed around by some humanoid being with a big head while a cheesy song is being played. WHEN suddenly he picked up a spade and used it to spear the ball of miscellaneous items. He turned to the Humanoid and yelled "ROYAL RAINBOW!!", the humanoid, obviously stirred by this odd phrase, started rampaging around with this big ball of miscellaneous items, rolling over anything smaller than its self in a fury unknown to man. Then the humanoid looked at Ben Edney, and Ben Edney realized that the humanoid was JOHN DRE!!! Ben also realised that he was smaller than JOHN DRE and he tried to do a back flip but was hit by a shoop da whoop and before falling to the ground said "Ah ya beat meh". He then got up, looked for the source of the SDW and saw that it had come from JOHN DRE. Ben looked down at his shoes and saw… A HOLE!!! In his shoe. "OH NOES!" said Ben, "my awesome shoe! Its time I do what I should have done a long time ago, It's time to do the Macarena!"

Then he danced and he danced, through the night. While on the other side of the world, in a  
non-descript tunnel a hobo called Mark was eating the last of his right boot. Then, all of a sudden, he was killed as a huge whale landed on his head. While he was dying, a guy called Ben hill was eating in a restaurant with his date. The name of his date was Rowena. Then Ben hugged Rowena. In another universe, where love is a felony there was a pet snake called Fred. Fred was a normal snake in that universe which meant he could speak. Fred's favourite word was 'skedaddled' and Fred like to eat ham. Fred liked Apple Pie as well. And, since he was a normal snake, he had the ability to fire Lazorz from his mouth. In Fred's universe Humans were extinct. Fred was a pet to Okinagaleakanovichashanaly Gu. That was the owners name converted to English. One day Fred was killed because this is freaking retarded. Their universe then imploded and attention was brought back to earth where I man was humping a frog named Paul. Unfortunately the Frog had herpes, so the man was left with a red, itchy rash at his groin. He screamed in horror at the sight and immediately grabbed a knife and killed Paul. Then he ran to a hospital and requested some anti-herpes lotion. The nurse said,  
"It puts the lotion on its skin. Or else it gets the hose again."  
The man was obviously bewildered by this and slowly walked out the door, when suddenly the nurse came running out and asked if the Man (whose name was JAAAAAMES) wanted to come back inside because it was getting dark out. The man gladly went back in, wondering what the night would bring, when the nurse rushed out past him and locked him inside! James was alone in a dark, empty hospital. Then he suddenly fell asleep...

Moments later he woke up. The hospital was completely destroyed and blood was smeared across the walls. James walked through the corridors to a bathroom where he heard a girl crying, he walked in and opened the door and (Oooh what a pervert, oh and this is an epic Silent Hill reference) then he realised that his name was not James, but Ryan then He went to his nearest court room and legally changed his name to Fancy Pants. Fancy Pants returned to the death filled hospital for no apparent reason. He was shot in the face by Bill Nye the science guy, who then sang his theme song, and all who heard him wept, for he was an old poof. Back to where Ben Edney was being chased by JOHN DRE, JOHN DRE tripped over his own two stumps and died then Ben Edney went back to JOHN DRE and Owned him… somehow… then out of nowhere his minions (Liam, Jayden, Taylor etc.) came over and cried with glee, and then killed Liam humping him then Jordan came and Hugged Benny Wenny and Ben was mad and angry because he was hungry. So he ate some Ice-cream. He then went outside, and ran back inside, his house. Because there were monster outside his door!

Then Ben and Jordan armed themselves with chain guns and went to pwn the monsters but before than, Ben punched Jordan in the face for hugging him earlier. The story then changed as it was getting too much like "Monsters vs. Aliens". Fancy Pants (from an odd 8 posts ago) then run up the wall and yelled.  
"Horaa!"  
Then a Guy called Ben Edney said sorry for punching Jordan in the face, and they were friends again, But unknown to them, A stranger called fancy pants was riding a 'traingun' and then Ben Edney shouted

"**ALL OUR BASE ARE BELONG TO ME AND JORDAN!!!"**

Boom went the dynamite. Soon the evil monster called "the Macs" came and started to destroy Jordan's Castle of UBERNESS but it was pwn3d by Jordan's top COMPUTER!!! Then, over in a place where there are no bases, and all is much calmer, a guy called Arnold was eating a piece of succulent rubber tires when he was punched in the face for doing such a stupid thing. Then raped. By Hitler. Who then went back into his grave while it all ended with a gay ending.

THE END!!!

Then a guy called Ben E was playing his computer while a dog called Mac was eating Pedro Kantor, then Ben E went out and kicked Mac in the balls and threw him to the poodles, who went all 'Italian Rage' on him till he was turned into a fish. Then a guy called James went out and started shouting at Ben H to stop being such an A(ctual) Hole, while he kicked Ben E 'till he was a woman, all because he killed the dog that was his, then ate a block of squishy cheese, when suddenly the cheese exploded as is the likes of the dairy product and then Jordan came and hugged Ben Hill, James, Ben Edney, JOHN DRE and the one the only James, saw JOHN DRE trip over a ant and die, then James sang a song:

There's one less tree in the forest,  
There's one less head in the sky,  
But JOHN DRE we'll never forget you,  
Its hard 'cause your 20 feet high.

"It was late at night on Christmas Eve,  
I was dreaming of the soft white snow.  
I was awoken by a noise near the Christmas tree,  
what it was, I did not know..."

Then a guy called Jake Wi came along and got a shotgun and killed James for being mean to the poor tree, then he turned the nozzle towards Ben hill the fag and Ben Hill pulled his admin gun out and obliterated Jake, never to be seen again. Continuing on Jake bombed the field that Ben hill was in so he died as well. Before James died he said:

".......I LIKE CHEESE........" and James died.

"lol What?" Ben Edney said.

Then Ben Edney went to a random shop and stole all the money in it. He then proceeded to run away to Florida where the police couldn't find him. As he was hiding there, his little brother ran out of nowhere and shouted:

"HEY BEN, GUEEEESSSSSSSS WHAT? I HAVE A COOKIE IN MY POCKET!!!"

Ben came out of hiding and then Alex came along and ran everyone over with a Warthog while laughing at nothing. Then he spun around and got shot by a Noob and died, then the Noob started holding the gun in the wrong way and he shot himself, then Ben Edney came back to life magically. Then got killed by zombie that was eating peanut butter and being chased by a giant hairy turd covered marsh mellow man that had a hat saying 'Puffy' and was being chased by the Ghostbusters until we found out it was JOHN DRE in disguise and everyone 'Ducked & Covered.' Ben Edney got killed by a marginally sane chicken that pecked his balls off and ate his head, and then Jake Wa got hold of a "Blow up the world"  
trigger and used it, everyone died then Alex came along with a time travelling machine and went back in time to just before Jake Wa got a blow up the world gun and picked up a flame thrower and cooked him then Ben Edney got killed by a marginally sane chicken that pecked his balls off and ate his head then the chicken and Fancy Pants ate Jake Wa for dinner while Alex got

**NUT SHOTTED!!!!!!!!!!!!**

by a retard with a pin gun which shot 0.05 cal bullets that were 0.0025cm large... the retard shot 3 times and hit all times and then he killed himself. Luckily Alex was wearing the worlds best groin guard and it stopped the bullets then Alex picked up a blade of grass and threw it at someone then a Guerrilla jumped out of nowhere and ate him.

Using his awesomeness once more, Ben Edney rose from the plain of the dead and came back to life. Angry at all the people who attacked him, Ben Edney equipped himself with an RT-20 and shot Jake WA, Jake WI and Alex Dunne.

He then proceeded to go to a Cinema and watch race to witch mountain while Jordan was using a SAW 152 .50cal bullets with a 1500 bullets shot in one minute. Jordan had set up and he was firing. He had a 10 000 bullet drum feed. He was killing the zombies by the thousand and as he ran out of bullets his friend Nathaniel came to his side and covered his back. Nathaniel had a flame thrower type "belcher" he was having fun and back to Ben Edney. Ben had dual Desert Eagles and he was being UBER when Then Jake Wi came back as a ghost and ate Jordan because he was attempting to be Uber then Rowena came out of no where asking what had happened I Noob came along and killed Alex then was Head Shotted by Chuck Norris and a BB-Gun. Then Ben Edney went back to watching a movie. Rowena then went up to a certain someone and had sex with a daemonette and with Ben hill as well. Then some one was eating cheese at the foot of an Emperor Class titan how squashed him...  
and then a guy came and changed my voice to medieval mode...

"Thou art a Monkey-Brained-madcap-anvil" is what thy said to thine voice wizard I wearing terminator armour. Then Ben Edney stepped out of the movie theatre and lolled while Master chief came along with an army of marines and because master chief is so much awesomer then Ben Edney, Ben Edney could not take has awesomeness and died by master chief just being there  
Jordan and his friend were now surrounded by an army of marines that took it on themselves to smack there bottoms and send them home but Jordan and his friend took out their awesome Lancers and shot, chainsawed and annihilated their way to master chief and they told him "Master chief you are part of a dying race save yourself and our race"  
and then they put enough bullets into master chief to make him unrecognizable. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHH" screamed Master Chief as Jordan and his friend chainsawed him to pieces Then as master chief died the whole army of marines obliterated Jordan and his friend for killing master chief, then they danced in a circle singing cheese and waffles at the top of their voices and then down from the heavens descended Chuck Norris  
who owned all the marines and then Ben came back to life cuz he is utterly Uber, and nothing can kill him and make him stay dead because of this, so Ben Edney went and watched star trek, which was a classic, and he saw plenty of things that shouldn't be in an M movie and he was left alone to laugh about it while Obi wan Kenobi ate jar-jar binks then obi blew up randomly.  
Luke cried out "NNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!! Obi Wan you haven't told me how to be a retard yet!"  
Then Obi replied "you are one Luke... BURNT!!!!"  
Then Luke cried but his tears flew upwards 'cuz he missed the ground then Ben Edney turned into a cheese which got squashed by obi wan Kenobi as he told Luke that he was a retard, obi wan Kenobi then looked down and ate the cheese which he pooped out in a toilet when Matthew came along and ate it and pooped it out in a toilet when typhus the big poo ate it, Ben Edney then suffered the rest of his life in a big poos stomach,

In the meantime Matthew was firing his lazor when chuck Norris came along and roundhouse kicked him in the head, and the head came off and typhus ate it, and so that is the story of how Ben Edney the cheese and Matthews head ended up in typhus's stomach then Kahn (which one???) came then he realised that there were three of him (Kahn the betrayer, Korsarro khan and the imperial guard rough rider)  
then they pwn3d typhus

then on one sweet, lush green meadow Jordan was crusading for love and then Ben Edney came back again while a random person sniped Jordan in the meadow and Ben Edney said "Oh Noes" and started to cry. After the mourning period Ben Edney went to watch Monty Python at the Hollywood Bowl. Then Ben Edney ranted about how people act at shopping centres. It went kind of like:

"Hello people. Today I, Ben Edney, will educate you on an important subject. This subject is shopping mall etiquette. It is not socially acceptable to piss on a toilet seat. No matter how 'funny' you think it is, it makes you look like a retard. Also, the police force is NOT like the English guard. They will laugh at your jokes and they will react if you give them the finger. And let's not forget those of you who believe that they still sell condoms in toilet places. They don't. This is because too many people took advantage of this and started doing 'it' in toilet stalls. This may have interested the males, but when little boys started asking what:

'Oh, yeah, lettuce, lettuce, tomato."

Meant they decided to put a stop to it. Now, to move onto a BIG one; you girls are not supposed to stand in the middle of pathways giggling. It is not funny if a small nerd walks by and scratches his head. It is not funny if a random guy trips him. It is not funny when police react to a random kid giving them the finger.

Thank you for your time, Bye."

And Ben Edney disappeared in a puff of smoke. All the while, Ryan was eating a burger in parliament and saying how awesome he is to anyone who asks him a question, meanwhile two rows behind him, Jake Wi (recently come back to life because the god of khorne decided he was to Uber to die right now) Cut in and said something that made everyone in parliament scarred for life, but Ben Edney was not in parliament, he was in a cinema. Somewhere else then Jordan drowned in his own tears  
While Nathaniel celebrated his birthday while saying 'I lost the game' and James was stroking Johndre at there Friday afternoon continuous cricket game and Jake Williams suddenly appeared and told James to kiss Courtney, James promptly chased Jake all over the oval screaming insults while Ben Edney was being Uber then he failed and he shouted "I LOST THE GAME!!!!!!!!!!" 65,000,000 times which miraculously is the number of money owed by Australia while a fed was being a fed and Ben Hill was Row(ena)ing and had 400 BABIES while he fed them SHOCOLATE and they were good at sport, they ran as fast as Kenyans so they sent them to Kenya while Ben Edney was telling a bedtime story about how Ben hill was Row(ena)ing and they made Ben Edney while Jordan said that Jordan ran away from school with minor injuries holding a Glock while a fed was being a fed and began killing all the terrorists in their bases with a chainsaw on a stick because that was an awesome idea. This was because team America was not doing it for them because Ben needed to be in a cinema. Everybody was dancing and playing because Jake Williams had just got elected as president of the united states, Jakes first act as president was to appoint Ben Edney as secretary of defence, Ben Edney then went and assassinated Jake Williams and ate his tacos. Then he made himself the president.

After the tacos, Ben Edney went to watch a movie. Elsewhere A land raider was running over pedro kantor while2 random guys called Jack Bond (i know this guy) and Iola sparrow (i know this guy) went around hitting girls, Jordan could not stand for this sexist treatment so Jordan punched them both in the head, and yelled out "SACKWHACK". Then proceeded to sing, "Sack wack, give me some more, Sack wack, all on the floor, sack wack oohhhhhh" and said hi to the girls he had saved and they all ran away cuz they had "jordan-itis". Then a happy chicken was eating grain on a farm while chuck norris came and pwn3d the n00bz on the farm every1 was playing "barnyard bingo" instead of saying cheese Ryan said "should we close this topic? Really it should be in the off topic section."

Then Jake wi said:  
NO!!!!!

Ryan you spoil everything  
Leave the poor innocent forum alone!

Then Everyone Left the Topic Alone.

**THE END**


End file.
